6 Anger Management Mistakes That Everyone Needs To Avoid

If you’re considering seeking help for anger management, there are some things you need to know. When first starting to deal with their problem, a lot of people make some really common errors which will actually set them back. In this article, we’re exploring six anger management mistakes that people need to avoid.

Getting Help With Anger Management

Learning to control your anger can be tricky and it’s common for mistakes to be made along the way. Some people choose to deal with this themselves by monitoring their behaviour and using simple exercises such as counting to ten. Others may enlist the help of a friend or family member to help keep them in check when anger rears its ugly head.

While it is possible to temper your anger this way, a significant number of people choose instead to secure professional help. Despite what you may have seen in films or on TV, getting help doesn’t have to involve a therapist or even a couch. Anger management classes are now widely available online and can be completed in your own home, making them much less scary. During your anger management training, you’ll be taught how to identify your triggers and to then better manage those strong emotions that follow. Far from turning you into a constantly smiling puppet who is seething inside, these courses are all about harnessing anger and channeling it more effectively.

Mistakes To Avoid

If you’re a newbie to anger management, you could find yourself heading for some common pitfalls so, here are six things you need to avoid on your journey:

1. Bottling it

Many people would prefer to go for root canal surgery than get into a conflict. Although it’s not, of course, a good idea to blow up at the slightest thing, keeping your anger bottled up can be just as bad. Suppressing our anger is like leaving a pressure cooker on for too long – it will eventually blow; making everything so much worse.

2. Avoiding triggers

While it may, on the surface, seem sensible to avoid the triggers that spark your anger, it’s very rarely practical or even possible. Anger is a natural emotion that occurs when we feel an injustice on behalf of ourselves or others. When it comes to anger, everyone’s triggers are different as are our reactions to them. Trying to avoid these triggers will usually only delay the inevitable and will often mean that when we do experience them our reactions will be wholly out of proportion.

3. Unhealthy coping mechanisms

When we know we have an issue with anger, we’ll sometimes do anything we can to deaden its effect and that of our triggers. For some people this manifests in abuse or overuse of alcohol or drugs. Unfortunately, while these things may sometimes suppress strong emotion, they can also magnify it. In some cases, this can mean that we react in an inappropriate or exaggerated way. On top of this, alcohol and drugs can harm our health and increase feelings of paranoia and depression which can make the situation much much worse.

4. Being blinkered to warning signs

When you embark on anger management classes, one of the first things you’ll be taught is to recognise and acknowledge your anger warning signs or triggers. This is kind of like the health warnings you see telling you the early symptoms of a stroke or heart attack. The more warning that you have that anger may be triggered, the better armed you’ll be. When we recognise these signs early, we can then learn to deflect, distract and take the power out of the oncoming anger.

5. Blaming and shaming

As with other emotions, anger – particularly the extreme kind – can feel shameful. Because of this, we often feel the urge to take it off our shoulders and throw it onto somebody else’s. This can be a huge mistake for a number of reasons, including:

• We may then incur the anger of the blamed person
• Others are likely to side with the other person, making you feel humiliated, isolated and, of course, more angry
• Being found out for blaming and shaming may land us in trouble if this occurs during a work situation
• This can damage relationships – both professional and personal – sometimes irrevocably

As hard as it may be, one of the most important steps to getting control of your anger is to own it and to take full responsibility for the repercussions of that anger.

6. Going it alone

Anger comes in different shapes and sizes and, most of the time, it’s a natural and healthy reaction to injustice. This means that, in most cases, people are able to keep a lid on the worst of their anger while in the presence of others. There are, however, those for whom this is extremely difficult or even impossible. These people will often find themselves facing increased conflict and damaged relationships due to being unable to contain their rage.

This kind of anger goes way beyond what is normal or healthy and, in this instance, it’s a mistake to continue thinking that you can handle it yourself. Seeking professional help for your anger issues is a form of self-care and carries with it no shame or stigma.

Kicking anger into touch

Having been through some common mistakes for anger management, you may find some of these familiar. If so, anger management classes will often help. In them, we learn how to contain, control and channel our feelings of anger more effectively. By better controlling our anger, we can:

• Avoid conflict
• Improve relationships
• Attain better leadership skills
• Improve our communication skills
• Improve our own mental wellbeing

In today’s world, asking for help is usually the most difficult step when we’re faced with life’s challenges. Thankfully, courses, including anger management, can now be conducted completely online and are 100% private.

If you feel that you need help in getting help for your anger issues, it’s best to do so as soon as possible as the problem is more likely to get worse than better on its own. Convenient and affordable online courses can help you to keep your anger in check and improve your personal and professional lives.