Everyone deserves the knowledge and safety that comes from having an exclusive partner. Having a cheating spouse is heartbreaking; not knowing they’re cheating is worse. Many find themselves being the victim of a cheater only after the situation has come to an (often dramatic) head.
These unfortunate events are horrors for the monogamous person; the husband’s mistress is pregnant, the wife’s boyfriend objects at the wedding, and the marriage of decades has become a non-priority.
These events are often used in conversation to speak about a “worst-case scenario” given a situation. However, these events happen today as much as ever. Paranoia, in combination with social media, can lead many towards “snooping” around and eventually finding a cheating partner.
One of the most common ways to do this is by using an online phone look up tool; these tools let anyone find the owner of the number attached to a suspicious text or phone call. If the number isn’t as suspicious as you once thought, there are still other signs that something may be going on.
In 2020, the average number of internet-capable devices per household was over ten. Of that ten plus, someone could use at least seven of those to receive or send messages. One of the most unmistakable signs that someone is cheating is their unusual use of different tech; for example, they’ve started using your kids’ iPad a lot—saying it was for work.
Some mental disorders have bipolar symptoms, so it is important to consider that in any cheating investigation. Examples of this can include colossal mood swings, from being cold and distant to being very affectionate. Mood swings happen because of their divided attention between “two” priorities.
No one needs to like their partner’s friends, but it helps when they do. If suddenly your partner’s friends are acting weird around you, something may be wrong. It’s important to note that there are situations like surprises that may be in the works, so if considering this a symptom of possible cheating, wait a while before any confrontation.
Most people will have to work late at some point in their professional life. Depending on the career, this may be as often as every night a week or as little as one. The worrying part isn’t their absence—it’s their unreachable status. Turning off their phone for work or while with friends is commonly a red flag.
Many older couples don’t speak to each other—not because they don’t want to, but because they don’t need to. This is different from a partner not communicating with their spouse. Some partners like to “ice out” their other, especially after a fight. Decreased communication due to cheating happens because the cheater wants their new partner’s attention at the price of your needs.
There are many reasons why someone’s stress levels may be elevated; work is hard, traffic is long, there aren’t enough hours in the day, and there’s not enough money to survive. However, the partner who is stressed from cheating displays a unique type of emotional trigger when stressed; nothing is their fault.
Everyone will deal with unexpected financial issues in their life. Things like funerals, car accidents, jail bonds, and “bank mistakes” are commonly cited as some of these issues that arise. However, sudden financial burdens like paying for a relative’s monthly prescriptions or groceries consistently are red flags.
When considering a change in appearance a sign of cheating, there must be more than “self-expression.” Changing hair is typically the tip-off. Cheaters need additional attention so completely that they change their bodies’ most visible and memorable parts. They do this because it increases their attention, interest, and compliments and attracts the target suitor.
Not all relationships need to be wide-open books, but there is a difference between hiding something and not bringing something up. Relationships that have always been perceived as open and honest are in trouble if one person is suddenly secretive.
Hobbies are great—they can be done almost anywhere and include nearly anything if someone is committed enough. Sometimes, however, a cheater may blame a hobby for their absence or the price tag of new toys. Some cheaters may claim a hobby is the reason for large financial choices, but the real reason is someone else.
First, take a breath and remember that you will be 100-300 pounds lighter after separating from them. Second, gather all the evidence you can find. Not only are you trying to verify further, but it will also be needed if you end up in the court system.
If there are any shared accounts, start discretely moving things into your name and looking for legal help, if needed. Some states require a separate period before filing for those seeking a divorce or needing some space. Carefully consider what you want to do about the relationship and how you want to approach them—if at all.
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